Suicide Prevention Week

I have finally come to understand the gift of life, and the purpose to living. I've come to understand why God chooses some people to suffer daily, and others to live in comfort. I've come to the conclusion that he had an idea in mind when he fashioned me in my mother's womb, had a plan for me before the world began.
These are truths that I wish everyone who is considering suicide as an option could accept. I wish I'd gotten it a long time ago, and I regret regretting that I was ever conceived. I regret nearly robbing my family and friends of a girl they love, and the world of the gifts I have to offer. I know that God has blessed me with a multitude of talents that I can't even begin to unravel, and I understand the term, "To he much has been given, much will be expected." I get that, and I'm trying my hardest to multiply my blessings so they overfill into the lives of other people. I'd also like to spread the word of who I've been, and my back-story, but I don't know how, and I am afraid.


This week has given me a lot to think about, and To Write Love On Her Arms is an emotional 24 hours for me. Every year I try and convey how God has spoken to me and kept me breathing the 365 days. This year's sleeve told the following:

A star for that night when God told me of my calling, a remembrance of hope, fears, and dreams.

"TWLOHA" for the organization which has posed as a beacon and a symbol of my recovery.

A bird, fed by the hand of God, which brings me back to my freshman year, when God showed me Matthew 6:26 one night I questioned my worth.

The word "value", for the derriving from the NLT version of the verse which says, "...and aren't you far more valuable to Him than [the birds] are?"

A ship for the Shawn McDonald song which says, "I will not fear when the storms of life appear / 'Cause You're holding me, holding me tight / Keeping me alive when the storms of life arrive / And You're helping me, helping me fight through the night" (Storms.)


Lastly, the anchor reminds me of two songs on the album Satellite Kite  by Beautiful Eulogy. The anchor stems from the song "Anchor", which says that God remains good while we're dealing with troubles. And the other song, "Beautiful Eulogy", which reminds me of the perfect body I will receive in Heaven, unblemished with mental illness, and the day all of my tears will be wiped away, every wrong made right.

This isn't much of a post, but I thought it was worth sharing. Keep the suicidal in prayer this week, and beg that at least one would decide to live tonight. I thank those who have prayed for me.

The Absurdity of Life Without God

In the world, people live their lives with the belief that the universe originated out of complete and total chaos, a random explosion that brought the galaxies, stars, and planets into being. These same individuals donate to charities, help old ladies across the street, and bring money home so they can provide for their families, to make sure their kids have the life they never did. This is where they find their purpose, and yet they believe in no God. This makes no sense. Something cannot have no purpose, but still have purpose. It violates the law of non-contradiction. If the universe was an accident, it follows that life as humans know it is utterly and absolutely redundant, and man subsequently has no value whatsoever. In proportion to eternity, without a God, not one life on this earth can have any significance. Anything a Godless person does for the “good” of things accomplishes essentially nothing, for he himself has no more worth than those he serves. Whether one murders or loves does not matter, for without God, there is no moral wrong one can inflict upon another, for neither party has any value. Likewise, one cannot say something is right, or something is wrong. For without any living creature on the earth having value, wrong cannot be committed, and neither can good, because it does not matter one way or another, for it affects nothing. A common argument against purpose in a Godless world argues that one can have meaning without God. The purpose from an evolutionary standpoint explains that everything is simply survival of the fittest, and therefore, man’s purpose is to thrive. Not so! Hitler saw it fit for the Germans to simply exterminate the Jewish race and forcibly sterilize many others in order for his people to thrive, and so using an evolutionist’s code of beliefs, his actions could be rationalized and justified.